I wrote last year about Lincoln being my favorite child. It was one of my most popular posts, and if you missed it you can catch it here.

More than a few people have asked if Link is still my favorite. I feel it’s only appropriate (and fair) to update the “favorite” status.

Lincoln is NOT the favorite anymore. I mean, he’s two. Which means one day he loves chicken and noodles and the next day he’s stomping his foot screaming “Don’t wan it!” It also means hiding veggies in sister’s Barbie car while mommy is feeding the twins.

Emmy is the tinest and messiest human disposal I’ve ever met. No matter what she’s eating, she will smear it all over her face and hair. Later when we change her diaper, she’s managed to shove some food in the back of her diaper. Little noodle butt doesn’t even have a shot at favorite.

Jack is much neater when he eats. Mainly because he is the pickiest eater on the planet. (Yes, I have met every picky child on the planet, and they all pale in comparison.) He will quietly and calmly throw every.stinkin.piece.of.food on the floor while we aren’t looking. Then proudly grins as if he’s done something grand. Despite our efforts to discipline him, we could feed a fifth child with all the food he continues to drop.

Neala. Sweet, helpful, big sister of the tribe. Since turning three, she has really matured and her quick wit and sarcasm makes us laugh every day. She’s also bossy and can drop an attitude bigger than Texas. Here’s a recent conversation:
“Neala, you need to lose your attitude.”
“You need to lose yours mommy.”

Nope, she ain’t the fave.

If you’ve done the math, I’m out of children.
Truth be told, none of my children are my favorite right now. They are all snotty and messy and needy.

I’m the favorite because I do most the work.

That’s right, I said it. And I’m not ashamed. I could be wrong, but I feel like all the mamas are nodding right now?

Because you do too. 

Ironically, the ones who care for everyone often put caring for themselves last on the list. I know I ain’t the only one on day two of dry shampoo.

Here’s my unsolicited advice to all the mamas:

Buy the shoes.
Or the shirt. Or whatever makes you feel fabulous. When you have some extra money, spend it on yourself and NOT the kids. They’re probably going to stain any clothes you buy them anyway.

Stop eating last.
If you’re like me, you usually end up eating lukewarm food at the end of the meal. Someone needed you to blow on their hot noodles. Someone wants more. Or someone had a meltdown because they’ve recently decided they only want sugar for dinner. Your kids won’t starve if you sit down and eat while it’s hot. And no one will dehydrate if their sippy is empty for a few minutes.

Sneak the snacks
Guuurrlll….ain’t no judgement here. If you want to hide in the pantry so you can eat an Oreo, I proudly support your decision. You are keeping tiny humans alive. Chocolate is necessary and deserved. You are still a good mother if you inhale a few each day, then change the hiding place so your children (or husband) can’t find them.

Get out of the house.
Put yourself first at least once a week and feel zero guilt about it. Schedule time away from your family and come back a better person. When I’m trapped in the house with my tribe for too long, I turn into a sleepy toddler. Irritable and whiney. Everyone and everything becomes more tolerable after I’ve had a break.

Now ya’ll can say you don’t have a favorite child and you treat all your children the same. But I can’t say that or my nose will grow like a wooden puppet. My children have all taken turns being the favorite and they all enjoy it because I tend to favor the favorite.

When I decide to take a turn at the top, I feel guilty and selfish. I worry my husband will be angry and my children will end up in therapy. Thankfully my guilts only lasts about 2.8 seconds. Once I start taking better care of myself, (aka-sneaking snacks and meeting other mamas for dinner) I become a better version of myself.

Join me in first place mamas.
It’s ok to be the favorite today.