Our Stanky Couch

If ever a couch stunk, it was ours.
Ten years worth of stank had infiltrated the very fibers of the poor thing.

Not to mention all the nastiness babies and toddlers produce. Even though we have a changing table in our living room, sometimes we are just too tired to walk the baby 14 steps to the changing table. So we change your diapers on the couch.

We thought the worst was when you were small and would projectile poop. But now you’re older and give us nuggets of poo which roll all over it because you turn into wiggle worms the moment we start changing you.

I refuse to buy another couch until all four of you are older and capable of going to the bathroom alone. This refusal saves us money. It does not, however, make for a pleasant smelling couch.

Today I was vacuuming the living room and, on a whim, decided to toss the cushion off the couch and clean what might lurk beneath. After  vacuuming up half a bowl of Cheerios, 128 raisins, three hair ties and a fake cookie, I saw something amazing. Something I’d never seen before. The cushions had zippers. I could wash the cushion covers!

I popped those jokers off, smiling as I threw them in the wash, hardly able to contain my excitement. (You know you’re a stay at home mom when you get excited about washing cushion covers.)

Lincoln, you thought my taking the cushions off the couch was pure fun and quickly started jumping. That’s when I saw the warning. You know, the bright white sticker sewn onto the bottom of the couch. The one that warns NOT to wash the cushion covers, even though they have zippers.

couch warning

I did not heed the warning.

You should have seen me trying to shove those cushions back into their covers. Like trying to push the toothpaste back in the tube. Like a mother of four trying to slide into skinny jeans. There was tugging, pulling and sweating. Jillian Michaels would have been proud.

Our pastor often says, “God uses things we can see, to help us understand the things we can’t see.”
Funny how God used a stanky couch to teach me something. As I was fighting those cushions, the life lesson light bulb went off in my head.

How many times have I done something I know I shouldn’t?

Criticize daddy when he does something differently than I would have.
Judge someone else’s actions without knowing the full story.
Lose patience with one of you when I’m tired.

When I finally got the covers back on, I collapsed on the couch and said a quick prayer. I asked God to help me remember this lesson. To help me use restraint when I feel impulsive.

“…Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry…”
James 1:19

The good news is God hears us every time we pray. So I’m confident He will help me.
The bad news is the rest of the couch still stinks.

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