Neala and Lincoln,
Your father and I were recently asked to be in a short video at our church. They asked us both the question, “What does your spouse do to make you feel the most loved?”
This was hard for me to answer. Not because I don’t feel loved by your father. But because I couldn’t narrow it down to one thing. So my answer was a combination of little things your daddy does to make me feel loved.
But driving home from church, I suddenly remembered. There IS one specific thing he does to make me feel the most loved. My pregnant brain had forgotten up until that moment. Big shock there.
Love letters. Your daddy writes me love letters.
When we were dating, he was still in law school. He was in Indianapolis for most of the week, so we weren’t able to spend time together until the weekends. He would mail me the sweetest letters. Sure, he could have emailed me. And social media was starting to come onto the scene. But your daddy went old school and actually wrote words on paper.
Yellow legal paper to be exact.
At any given time, I could find six or seven of these legal pads in his backpack or car. He used them for everything. Why he chose legal pads? No idea. I’m more of a spiral notebook gal. The cover always comes off legal pads and I didn’t like flipping the pages over the top.
But I did like getting love letters.
Here is just a snippet of one of his letters:
“Finally I want you to know I enjoy simply being with you. All the other things we do pale in comparison to just being with you. Seeing your dimples when you smile, your hair pulled back behind your ears, your green eyes and that head tilt of yours. To hear your voice and see your face supersedes everything else.”
Even when he came home for summer break, the letters continued.
Even when he wanted to marry me and I got scared and broke up with him. The letters continued.
During our break up I would walk out to my car after work and find an envelope on the windshield. I knew a yellow legal pad letter would be inside. It was both annoying and touching.
The letters aren’t as frequent now. But I understand why. I can’t expect him to sit down and write a letter when he’s helping take care of two littles and a pregnant wifey who loses all energy when the sun goes down.
Our marriage is in a different season now compared to our first years together. A hot date back then included a romantic dinner, maybe a late movie. Then we would make out and talk for hours.
This is daddy and I at a gala for his work. Notice how skinny and rested I look. This is clearly BEFORE children.
A hot date now means dinner without children at a restaurant that won’t give me heartburn or make me nauseas. At dinner we usually end up taking about you two, and the two littles coming. A late movie is not even an option because I turn into a pumpkin at 9pm.
This May we will celebrate 11 years of marriage. Throughout the 11 years, your daddy has continued to give me love letters on yellow legal pad. Sometimes they are expected. My birthday, Valentine’s Day, our anniversary. Other times they come out of the blue. Regardless of when they come, I know they will be thoughtful and heartfelt.
So I’m changing my answer. Even though the video at church has already been made, I’m changing my answer.
“What does your spouse do to make you feel the most loved?”
He writes me love letters.
Who knew yellow legal pad could be so romantic?